Sophie's Paige

I'm tired of living like I'm not alive...

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Decisions… Something to Forgive

April 9, 2011

                Most of us love watching movies where we see how time can be reversed and somebody gets the chance to change the course of his/her life. Have you ever wished that you could get that once in a lifetime chance to change things from what they are? Of course you have! Everyone has. It would be so convenient, wouldn't it? There is that saying, “If I knew then what I know now…” or “I wish things hadn't turned out the way they did.” and still this other one, “I wish I could've done things differently.” We all have said, heard and thought these different phrases and there are tons of different ways to say the same thing, “I wish I could turn back time to change that.” How many times have we said, “I take that back.”? Have you ever stopped to wonder about that and how ridiculous it is? For real! How can you take something you said back when you already said it and was heard by those around you?

Decisions make up our experiences in life. Sadly, not all decisions are the right ones. We make decisions for a lot of reasons whether it is to get a better job or a bigger home. Maybe it is to get a new girlfriend or a promotion before your other colleagues. Many times, whether we know it, mean it, care or otherwise, our decisions are selfish decisions and they affect those around us, especially if they are spontaneous decisions. Too many times we don’t realize how often our decisions hurt others including the people we love and care about. And all too often, because of those choices, we end up being caught in the middle of the rock and the hard place. What hurts and frustrates us the most is that we can’t change what we did and even if we did, it would be a cowardly choice to try and change things. I’m not talking about life and death. I’m talking about our daily lives and the choices we make. Why? Because, it would make it easier for you to correct YOUR mistake and you wouldn’t have to face the responsibility or consequences for what you did.

                The fact of the matter is that all of us have made mistakes that we wish we could “take back” and as time goes by we don’t like to remember that certain situation because it still stings. I have one such memory which involves my brother. The truth of the is that he probably doesn’t even remember because it’s been forgiven and forgotten. But it bothers me to remember. I hate looking back at that moment and not being able to change it. I still remember the pain in his eyes. When things like that happens there is a lot of guilt and embarrassment involved

 So, why am I telling you all this? My point is this… forgiveness. WHAT?! Yep, forgiveness. But, not the kind where you forgive someone. Let me tell you why. The choice was made by you, so you need to forgive… you. Huh?! Yep… forgiving ourselves. “Why on earth would I want to do that?” Well, who is still hurting for the choice you’re now sorry you made? You are. Forgiving ourselves is about the hardest thing to do. It’s not easy but it’s just as important as forgiving others because it releases us to go on living. If we don’t make peace with our decisions, we will become very bitter people.

The Bible tells us not to condemn ourselves in what we approve. Of course, at this point, Paul was talking about food. But here’s the thing, God never condemns us. For real! Not only that, He is never disappointed in us. Why? Because He knows us. He knew exactly what was going to happen when you made your decision, therefore it didn’t surprise Him when things went wrong. We need to learn the difference between saddening God and disappointing Him. They are two different things. So, if He doesn’t condemn you for a bad decision or choice, why should you? Our past conforms who we are today, but it most certainly does NOT dictate who you can be. This doesn’t mean you go making all the choices you want and forget about it. What this means is that it’s OK to make peace with your past. It means that you can tell God about it and He takes care of the rest because He is the Only One Who can erase our mistakes and takes the pain of the memory away. Make peace with your decisions and take a step forward to an opportunity of doing it different today and your future. We might not be able to turn back time, but we have the future to look forward to… 


Just begun... today!

January 10, 2011

"So this is Christmas, what have you done..." I know, I know! Christmas is over. I was thinking about what comes after those lines in the song by John Lennon. "Another year over and a new one just begun." Time seems to be going 100,000 miles per hour, it seems.  It feels like it was only a couple of years ago that I was playing Nintendo Mario Bros with my brother and Barbie dolls with my cousin. Another year has gone by and I got to thinking on those lyrics, "...what have you done... another year over..."

Everyone loves a new year. Why? Because it’s a time where you can start all over again. We love new beginnings. Starting over with a clean slate. New plans, new dreams and new goals. Hmm... a chance to start the year over afresh. Ahh! Didn't you just sigh at that? Of course you did! So did I. It gives us the feeling of being squeaky clean. As a matter of fact, we like that feeling so much that we try to make new beginnings all year long. It doesn't matter if its mid October, we always try to do something that will give us the feeling of starting over. Whether it be cleaning out the garage or moving to a new apartment. We like the feeling of the 1st of every month. We always promise ourselves that this time, we'll go through with our plans. We want to make new friends or smile more often. We want to finish reading that book and for once, to be on time! 

Now, I don't know about you, but if my new beginning gets ruined, the outcome is usually the same. If I begin a drawing and realize that, oh no! That detail is too big to fix! Nah! I simply rip the page and start over. Just like when I play Zuma on my computer. If I don’t make the first three balls count, the rest of my game is terrible! This symptom shows up in my New Year resolutions. It’s more than obvious that whatever you had planned gets overlooked. Why? Well, for starters, you might be staying at someone else’s home for the holidays. You throw caution in the air because you like having a good time. So it’s more than apparent that if one of your resolutions is to go to bed early… oh, what the heck! I’ll start tomorrow. You’ve started your diet that morning, and then your aunt Tess makes you favorite cheesecake and cherry pie. Oh, well! I’ll start my diet tomorrow. And so on and so forth. Has it occurred to you that you can begin your diet that same evening after you’ve eaten the pie? Instead of that 15 minute morning walk you skipped this morning, take a 5 minute one in the afternoon! I've realized that my outcome shouldn't suffer the same fate as my beginnings.

My point is that because our beginnings get ruined, our efforts to start something new don’t look and feel fresh anymore, but that doesn’t mean we should stop altogether and wait for next year! No! Start today! The reason I shared all of this is because we need to realize that we have new beginnings in every minute, every hour, every day, every week and every moth just as with a new year. So, what does this mean? Well, if you missed you Bible reading for the last five days, who cares! Don’t wait until next week or next month to do it. Start today! It doesn't matter if its the middle of the week. If you had an argument with your spouse, best friend or parents in the morning, fix it today! If that second piece of cake is just eating your conscience, then just drink an extra glass of water today! If you missed you prayer time, don’t worry. Start today! Do you see where this is going?

Let me tell you something that you might not already know. Tomorrow is never going to come and yesterday is gone forever. We are left with the TODAY! Why? Because we were meant to live each day as it comes. Just because you woke up on the wrong side of the bed, it doesn't mean that the rest of the day has to match your hair! Enjoy each day and each moment. The Word tells us that God made this day and that we should enjoy it.  Don’t let life pass you by muddling over yesterday. Yesterday is gone! And don’t spend your time worrying about tomorrow. Each day takes care of itself.  Live today! Live your life just the way God meant you to live. Smile, be kind to everyone, but most of all, let God use you today!

Happy New Year!

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